Jealousy ever been jealous, or even envious of another runner? It is one of those topics the more you spend more time on it, you realize this is deep, whow, it somehow goes right down and before you know it it’s shaking you up.
Yessss. My name is Heiko. A question that often comes to mind is Good and bad jealousy, how much jealousy is good and how unhealthy. Especially In our sport of running
Hey thanks for joining me on today’s blog, if you are a first-time reader, thank you for your time, and trust yes it has something to do with trusting your time and your attention. To all those regular readersers, hey welcome back.
Now tell me you’ve ever been jealous of another runner. Why am I asking that question? Well readers it is just you and me here, so this is the moment to be honest with yourself and jealous means or the definition of jealousy: hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage : His success made his old friends jealous. They were jealous of his success.Intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness jealous of the slightest interference in household management— Havelock Ellis. And disposed to suspect rivalry
Uuuuuh today we are diving deep in this mental training for runners.
Before you say no and go and read some other blog with 4-minute ads, cursing and another ad for a sports drink you won’t enjoy anyway, stay here. And think. Even if your first NO was very convincing.
Have you never ever or no hang on maybe you know someone who runs, less miles than you, slower pace than you, has half the medals, only two runners t-shirts, you have at least 20, BUT talkative Telly manages to woooh the crowd with his tales of running. And everyone hangs on his lips in admiration of his amazing running adventures. And you are like thinking, hang on, I run much further than that. Or I complete that distance in half the time and boom there it is. Jealousy. Case closed.
Or is there someone in your club you train together, you run together, but secretly you are racing the other runner. He or she doesn’t know it, but you do. Booom jealousy.Envy neid painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantageSensation, attitude in which someone does not grant another success or possession or wants to own the same Deeper connection.
Subject that affects every person, runner or not and it can make you crazy. And hey, jealousy is not necessarily bad is it?Jealousy is not a negative word. Old Greek zahlos.. positive way. There are situations where it is normal to be envious if you trained real hard and someone else won, it is a normal feeling.
Envy envidia. Videre looking at, angry. Someone who is sad and irritated because the other is not in it.Jeal it is important to me we can talk about it. Feeling of irritation. Allegations, YOU message. Accusatory. Sad feeling, but then thoughts come along then allegations, then bitterness, then awkwardness.
Trust cannot be forced upon someone. You can give it to them. Promote it. Opposite of trust, control. Control kills love.Its control or love jealousy becomes toxic . When you investigate.
It is in the end about relationships. And here we have to do with trust. Trust which you cannot force onto the other, but you can offer it. Sometimes the feeling of jealousy is real. In the end it is about how you grow out of this situation. And trust is better than control. You cannot control someone you love. It is either love or control. And this is where envy is really becoming toxic.
Destructive Envy and Jealousy are both killers for relationships but are basic instincts. Why do we compare ourselves to others? How can something that is actually positive; be so negative? You know the story.
The same envy that might stimulate you, can be so harmful and destructive. But it is something we all have inside of us. Why do we compare ourselves to others? If you allow yourself to get immersed in this, you will feel it is a deep blog today. Something that is actually all positive, becomes twisted into something so negative.
How do we runners make something positive, into a negative. Perhaps you know the story. There is a runner. He is jogging with his Labradoralong a trail, surrounded by nature. Along comes a cyclist, the jogger looks as he passes him and thinks, how nice a bike, if I had that I would be covering a lot more ground. The cyclist thinks hmmm. I wish I had an e-bike, could cycle up this hill. Before seeing the e-bike he was happy. Next thing he passed by a beautiful brand new convertible. But the guy in the convertible is not dreaming about his car, because he just got past a classic Porsche. A 911. Original, mint condition. But the driver of the 911 he is not thinking about his car. He is stressed, he hardly has time to drive it. And now he is worried it will get a scratch or a dent or worse, will break down as he glances across he notices a jogger with a Labrador along a trail, and he thinks, wouldn’t it be great to be running in nature.
This is how envy works. Suddenly something you have, you enjoyed having, feels worthless because something someone else has becomes your desire. And it robs you of all the energy.
It’s a poison.
Destroys your relationship to running.
250 AD Carthage. De Zelo et livore. About envy and jealousy. Jealousy flares up into greed because one can no longer enjoy what is one’s own when one sees someone else who has something better. Through jealousy the bond of peace is torn. You can no longer control yourself. Through them the truth is falsified, unity is destroyed.
Or maybe if you watch a professional Sport. In the US might be Basketball, in the UK Premier league .What does it matter to those up there, those athletes getting millions. Is something being taken from me?
nnvy doesn’t one day knock at your door.Comes with opportunity. Until you hold the over 40 5K record, you are fine until someone else comes along.Snap out of it. Quickly. Or you will look back at a run of success that you cannot share, and suddenly doesn’t make you proud anymore of your achievements.
What is the solution? Is there hope? Overcoming jealousy is a three-step process.
- You need to identify the cause.
- And you need to get rational talk to someone who will help you reflect.
- Then focus on your story. The run story you are writing is the one you are creating.
Remember sometimes we don’t notice it. And when we do, we don’t have a healthy way of coping with it.
And ask yourself, am I meeting a goal I set for myself? Am I insecure of my abilities? Am I trying to achieve something I cannot? Overcoming envy is possible once it is identified.
Fact is, envy really drains you of your energy. It consumes your thoughts, and definitely ruins relationships. So, if you are in a negative thought pattern, check the source. Your best friend just archived another 10K sub 40. Feeling jealous Identify the cause, get rational, focus on your story.
Or your Instagram does hardly have any followers. Whilst the slower friend, heck seems to be getting the whole traffic. Identify the cause, get rational, focus on your story.Malcolm X famously said: “Envy blinds men and makes it impossible for them to think clearly.” That, right there, is the problem with trying to overcome envy.
If you don’t handle it, it will lead to a loss of focus. And it becomes a vicious cycle. The less attention you get, the more the envy grows. It has a crippling effect. Bottom line is disappointment. It is so, because we believe we cannot have what others have.
That sub 40 for a 10K, that over 40 5K best time at the local park run. The mind becomes full of blockages that determine every result we have. Nothing will change unless we change that pattern.
It sounds so simple, the more you focus on other runners, and their stories the less attention your results get. Again it is the comparison trap. You should listen to our podcast episode run your way to contentment.
Identify the cause, get rational, focus on your story.When someone you admire achieves something great, be inspired to achieve something great, whether it’s something similar or totally different – use that emotion to propel you forward. Look to their success and use it as an inspiration, a benchmark for our own success.
And be kind to yourself.
One step at a time
When you stop being jealous and instead embrace others’ achievements and good fortune as a stimulating force, you will experience many additional positive changes.It will build your self esteem.If you don’t believe you are good enough to achieve something, it can be easier to simply blame it on someone else being luckier than you.
Are you jealous of that sports person’s ability to play that game, or are you envious of the success they have achieved by being very good at something?
If you envy their natural talent and it is a talent you simply don’t possess, then you need to learn to accept that not everyone’s the same and we all have our own strengths.
If, however, it is their level of success you envy, then it is possible to do something else and achieve your own success.
Step 3: Know What You Want
Knowing what you want means focusing on your goals. Yes, we are back to the basics. But it is exactly that which makes you a better, stronger and smarter runner.
Thanks for joining me on today’s show. Look if you readers this far, do me a small favor. Would you share this with someone who you know could use this kind of message? And whilst you are at it, do leave me a rating, I would appreciate it.
So what are going to do in the NEW YEAR? Make 365 days run, one whole year of running Why who or what would you want to do that? And if your first thought is “I couldn’t do that” then definitely you should get the book. The link to the video you know what.. just go to youtube, enter “heiko stribl” and concentrate or you will get sidetracked and end up somewhere you don’t want to be.
How to get rid of JEALOUSY?
1. Recognize jealousy as deception.
Recognizing jealousy is the hardest part of killing it. Our hearts are often drowning in envy, yet we don’t even realize it.
2. Confront jealousy with joy.
The lie of jealousy is, “If only things were like this, I would be happy.” But the truth is, the opposite happens, as jealousy feeds a deep, hungry dissatisfaction. Instead of confronting discontentment with jealousy, confront it with joy. Choose joy. Fight for joy.
3. Count your blessings.
Counterattack jealousy by cultivating gratitude. Notice and savor the blessings all around you.
James 3:14-16 “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambitions exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
Keep going on your journey, to being a no excuses runner to becoming a better stronger and smarter runner. Hey, thanks for reading, remember check us out on youtube give this show a like, share it with someone who you know might need to hear this
Thank you for your time.
My name is Heiko, God bless you and remember: take it easy.
